A Slowstead Guide to Restorative Holidays

December is here, and with it comes the dizzying swirl of to-do lists, school concerts, office parties, shopping, decorating, and travel plans. For many of us, this season is equal parts magical and manic. A true mix of cozy lights and frantic schedules. But what if this year could feel different? What if the holidays became a time of true rest, not just collapsing into bed after a long day, but rest that restores you?

This first post in our three-part series is an invitation to pause, breathe, and ask: What does rest look like in a slowsteading life, and why does it matter so much?

Wire haired terrier on outdoor coach with ocean in the background

Reframing Rest As Not Being Lazy, But Being Life-giving

Somewhere along the way, we were sold the idea that rest is indulgent, unproductive, and something we must “earn.” But research tells a different story.

Neuroscience confirms that the brain does vital work during rest, consolidating memories, solving problems subconsciously, and even flushing out toxins via the lymphatic system.
The World Health Organization has warned that chronic stress and burnout are major global health risks, tied to higher rates of anxiety, cardiovascular disease, and lowered immunity.
Sleep science shows that our creativity, emotional regulation, and decision-making improve when we are well-rested.

In other words: rest isn’t wasted time. It’s the soil in which good decisions, healthy relationships, and creative breakthroughs take root.

On the Slowstead, I see this principle in my garden. After a long harvest season, my soil needs to lie fallow, covered, nourished, and left alone, to be ready for next spring’s planting. If I don’t give it that time, the soil becomes depleted, and next year’s crops suffer. We are no different.

What needs to be mentioned is the difference between mid-summer vacation rest and deep winter rest.

Midsummer Rest

Midsummer rest is bright, outward and playful. It’s the season of long days, warm evenings, shared meals, road trips and sand between your toes. You’re still moving, still doing, but in a softer way: swimming instead of commuting, reading in the shade instead of answering emails, laughing late around a table instead of racing through deadlines. This kind of rest restores you through delight and change of scenery. It reminds you that you are more than your routine and that joy is allowed right now, even if nothing in your life is “perfect” yet.

Deep Winter Rest

Deep winter rest is quieter, inward and rooted. It’s early nights, slow mornings, candles, soup, thick socks and giving yourself permission to do less without guilt. Where midsummer rest refills your energy, winter rest rebuilds your foundations: it helps you process the last season, release what’s too heavy, and gently re-align your life with what actually matters. It’s not about escaping your reality, but sitting with it kindly while praying, journaling, talking honestly with one trusted person. You need both: the sunshine exhale of midsummer and the deep, grounding stillness of winter, to become a human who doesn’t just keep going, but truly keeps growing.

Why the Holidays Can Feel So Exhausting

December has a way of speeding up time. Invitations pile up, expectations multiply, and before we know it, the month feels like a marathon. We try to fit in every tradition, every social event, every Pinterest-perfect idea, and the result is a form of holiday burnout.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen calls this anticipatory stress, when we carry the mental load of everything that “must” be done long before it happens. This kind of mental clutter keeps our nervous systems on high alert, making true rest nearly impossible.

The Slowstead Approach Is Choosing Less to Gain More

Slowsteading is about resisting that cultural current. It’s about choosing quality over quantity, presence over perfection. When we make space for rest, we actually create room for what matters most: connection, reflection, and gratitude. I also post less, write less and am less available on social media.

Here’s how to begin this December:

Step 1: Conduct a Holiday Rest Audit

Grab a notebook and write two simple lists:

What fills me: activities, traditions, people, and places that leave you feeling peaceful, connected, or joyful (for example, decorating the tree with music on, evening board games with family, church candlelight service).
What drains me: obligations, events, or habits that leave you depleted or irritable (for example, back-to-back parties, last-minute shopping rush, staying up too late every night).

Be honest. You might discover that some traditions have outlived their purpose and are now just taking up energy you could spend elsewhere. We stopped exchanging gifts in December and have created a family tradition of making individual birthdays through the year special. This decision was based on what works for us as a family rather than social pressure.

Step 2: Choose Your "Big Rocks"

This year, pick 2–3 non-negotiables that make the season meaningful for you and your family. Say yes to those wholeheartedly and let the rest be optional.

For our family, that means:

Baking Christmas cookies together (always messy, always memorable).
Hosting a simple candlelit supper for a few close friends.
A quiet day on Boxing Day where no one has to leave the house or get dressed up.

Step 3: Build in Micro-Rest

Not all rest needs to be a weekend away. Small, intentional pauses matter.

Try:

Afternoon tea moments: put on your favourite music, sip something warm, and just be for five minutes.
Family screen-free hours: after dinner, turn off devices and let conversation, music, or card games fill the space.
Festive walks: put on a scarf, grab the dog, and go look at neighbourhood lights slowly, without rushing.

These micro-rhythms act like mini-fallow periods, allowing your body and mind to reset even on busy days.

Fun Ways to Get Into a Slowstead Holiday Mood

If you’re wondering how to kickstart this slower season, here are a few playful ideas:

Create a Gratitude Garland: cut strips of paper and have family members write one thing they’re grateful for each evening. Link them together and watch the chain grow.
Host a Cozy Craft Night: keep it simple, homemade ornaments, pressed-flower gift tags, or beeswax candle-rolling can be wonderfully grounding activities.
Start a Festive Read-Aloud: choose a classic holiday story and read a little each night.
Plan a 'White Space' Day: mark a day in December as a do-nothing day, stay home, wear slippers, nap, play, and recharge. This is known as “pajama day” in our house.

Rest as a Radical Act

Choosing rest in December isn’t about doing less for the sake of minimalism; it’s about making space for what really matters. It’s about standing against a culture that tells us our worth is tied to our productivity and saying, “No, my presence is enough.”

So this December, let’s begin as we mean to go on. Let’s plant the seeds of peace and margin now, so that by the time the new year dawns, we are not wrung out but renewed, ready for the next season of growth on our slowsteads, whatever they may look like.