The trouble with inspiration is that it’s intoxicating. It draws me in like a moth to a flame, every time!
One moment you’re idly scrolling, the next you’ve mentally adopted two dairy cows and are pricing vintage apple presses on auction sites. It’s a rush. It’s fun. And it’s always unsustainable. The level of disappointment when your dreams collapse ends up compounding and causing a long-term negative expectation. This is the direct opposite of what slowsteading done slowly creates.
We design our future lives the way some people order coffee — overcomplicated, over-embellished, and hard to recreate every day without losing our minds.
And yet, that’s how so many of us try to slowstead: with a wishlist instead of a blueprint.
I must emphasize that a slowstead that works doesn’t start with a mood board; it begins with reality.
The life you have right now, between the walls you already live within, connected to the budget, the neighbours, the job schedule, is the life that must determine where you start.
That’s where the design begins, because if it can’t breathe in your present reality, it won’t last.
1. Start with Reality
Every talented architect begins with a site survey. They don’t draw wild angles without checking where the sun rises or how the wind moves. You need the same approach to design a legacy rather than a disappointment.
Ask yourself:
- What physical and time constraints do I have?
- What’s my energy like at 7 a.m. versus 7 p.m.?
- What routines already work for me, even if they’re not “slowstead-perfect”?
Designing from reality isn’t an act of defeat; it’s an act of respect. It keeps your slowstead from becoming a burden you resent. Keeping your design and expectations flexible, adaptable, and fun is essential.
Over the years, I have often had to readjust my expectations and goals. I envisioned cultivating enough ginger and turmeric to keep my family healthy throughout the winter. After four years, we had a small but satisfying crop for the first time this August. This did not mean defeat; it just took longer than I expected.
When you skip this step, you set yourself up for “aspirational burnout”, where your vision is lovely but your life can’t carry it. We are not here for that.
2. Define Your Essentials
Forget the Instagram feeds. Forget what your friend swears you must do. This is your life, and your slowstead must grow from your essentials.
Ask yourself:
“What five things matter most in my everyday life?”
Maybe it’s:
- Unhurried breakfasts.
- A small vegetable patch you can tend in fifteen minutes daily.
- Having a kitchen you want to cook in, rather than dread.
- Spending quality time with your loved ones, sharing small projects.
- Learning about the healing power of homegrown herbs.
This list should include things that energize and motivate you to change. Don’t aim for a “balanced list.” Aim for a true one.
If family dinners matter but dust-free floors don’t, design for them and let the dust wait its turn.
Here’s the secret: activities do not measure your slowstead’s success. It’s measured by how consistently it protects what matters most.
3. Create Your “North Star / Southern Cross” Filters
Every decision for your slowstead should pass through a filter, your own North Star or Southern Cross.
Here’s how you know if a choice aligns:
-
Does it honour my essentials?
If “time outdoors” is on your essentials list, why invest in a project that will keep you indoors every weekend? -
Does it fit my current reality?
Adding ten new tasks in a week when you can barely manage the basics is not slowsteading; it’s self-sabotage in rustic packaging. -
Will it still be important to me in a couple of seasons?
Trends fade, but genuine desires deepen. Choose what will matter when the novelty wears off.
Your North Star or Southern Cross filters are the quiet guardians of your slowstead, protecting you from overcommitment disguised as enthusiasm.
4. The Mini Assignment: Your Slowstead Non-Negotiables List
This week, take ten minutes to craft your Slowstead Non-Negotiables List.
Write 3 to 5 things you will always protect, even if nothing else is done.
Think of them as the heartbeat of your lifestyle, the things that, if lost, would pull you back into the chaos you’re leaving behind.
Examples to spark thought:
- An hour in the garden every weekend, no matter how small.
- Meals eaten sitting down, without screens.
- A no-rush morning once a week.
- Each month, dedicate time to learn or hone a skill.
Once you’ve written them, stick them somewhere you’ll see them.
They’re not a “someday” list. They’re the anchor points that keep your slowstead from drifting back into hurry.
My Own Practices
I am working on grounding my activities in healthier habits I can sustain. This includes:
- Starting the day (after everyone else has left the house) by reading the Bible and praying while enjoying my homegrown herbal tea.
- Spending 15 minutes in the late afternoon walking barefoot in the garden. (There’s danger involved since there are a lot of duck droppings fertilizing the grass!) I combine this with getting sun on my skin.
- Working towards 8 hours of good-quality sleep a night.
The Shift from Board to Step
Your porch steps, literal or metaphorical, are where you live. They’re where friends linger, where the day begins and ends, where you step into your real life.
The shift from Pinterest to Porch is the shift from dreaming to designing. It’s less glamorous but far more satisfying.
When your slowstead fits your real life and authentic self, it doesn’t just look beautiful; it works.
And that’s when you stop scrolling for inspiration.
Because you’re living it.